(Photograph of Sheila & John Peel taken from BBC website)
People laugh at me. I'm probably known as the Clutter Queen behind my
back, and yes, they (whoever "they" are) may well have a point..I have
vastly more "stuff" than I could ever need.
And yet, I have an uncomfortable feeling about parts of the passion for
"de-cluttering" that seems to have blossomed these days, fuelled by such
programmes such as "Life Laundry" and "Houses Behaving Badly".
I've been prompted to think about this by an article in the newspaper
today, referring to Sheila, widow of much loved DJ John Peel, who
died almost a year ago. She is quoted as saying that she cannot bear to
part with his record collection - and my first thoughts were "why on
earth SHOULD she?"
There still seems to be an assumption that people are delayed in
"getting over" a bereavement if they cannot start to part with the
possessions of the deceased. While it is true that it might be
impossible to retain all the items, the urging towards disposal can, I
think, do much more harm than good. In the case of bereavement, it MUST
be an act which is taken at the bereaved person's own pace, without
guilt being added to (some almost ALWAYS exists already if one is
bereaved) by outside pressure to "get rid of all that stuff".
But even in the case of household cleaning and clearing, it disturbs me
to watch TV programmes with people being pressurised to dispose of items
which may be trash to the makers and presenters, but are clearly highly
symbolic items to the person in question. I have seen real distress with
some people as they are urged to throw photographs, letters, and other
personal items into the "crusher" - when they would be better served by
help to process the memories associated with those items before they are
dispensed with. I wonder how much therapy is offered to participants? - I
would imagine the time scales and budgets within which the programmes
are made do not stretch to include this act of compassion.
So a plea to the makers of these programmes....It may just be "stuff" to
the outside world, but to the subject, it is a real part of their life
that they are being asked to throw away - please, don't do it in the
name of "entertainment"!
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