So What IS it About Family History That Gets Right Under Our Skins?

I've discovered some new resources for researching my own family history online in the last few days; The National Library of Wales has generously put millions of Welsh Newspapers Online  and searchable - (free) while London Lives also have a number of databases covering the 18th century in London - also free to search. Since I discovered - a few years ago - that my Somerset based grandfather had, in fact, been born in Sheffield, I have struggled to find out exactly where and recently acquired the address of his birth, from which a photograph was found on the immensely comprehensive Picture Sheffield site.

Interior of St Andrew Holborn - London place of my 3x Great-grandfather's wedding in 1777

It is no exaggeration to say that I have spent two days like a woman possessed - hopping from one link to another to another, copying, downloading, extracting information - filling in gaps, adding pieces to the jigsaw, imagining who these people were, how they lived, hope they coped, what gave them joy - what devastated them.

Rustlings Place, Ecclesall Bierlow, Sheffield - birthplace of my maternal Grandfather, George Silcox

But apart from the individual details about how my own small life is connected by a web to so many others, it also makes me regularly think about why I find the topic so fascinating - and why society has become so increasingly absorbed with the concept of 'Who We Think We Are' in the last couple of decades. The internet undoubtedly has a lot to answer for - researches which would have taken days, weeks, even years, and entailed  the expenditure of many pound and travels of many miles can now be done at the click of a key. Moreover, the links between people - the matching up of dates and descriptions - can also be done almost instantly, with cross referencing and thus validation of otherwise tentative links, giving us the confidence to go forward.

Memorial to a Welsh ancestor - my 4 x G-Grandfather, the Rev. George Williams of Llantrithyd

But I think there are also other issues at play; as families and communities become fragmented, stories get lost or forgotten - and our stories tell us who we are. I believe that we all have a deep need to 'know our place' - we need to know where we fit in to the stories - the stories that stretch back before our own tiny lives (our lives get to feel quite tiny and insignificant as we grow older and experience setbacks as well as accomplishments, don't they?) and will stretch forward, into the future, carrying our own contributions to the as-yet-unwritten story that will stretch forward after we are gone.

When working as a bereavement counsellor, I sometimes hear people saying things like 'I feel as if part of me has died/been buried with (the deceased loved one)' - it may seem like a metaphorical description of how bereavement feels, but clients are often very comforted and uplifted when I affirm to them that - in one way - that is exactly what has happened;  part of my client's story that was shared with the loved one  has indeed  died - but I also remind them that part of the loved one has also remained with them - memories of words and actions which influenced them, built them, moulded them - the parts that cannot die while they are still kept alive -  by remembering and acting upon them - building their lessons into our own lives.

It's yet another reason for writing things down, my friends; write down your stories…save, contemplate, discuss and act upon those images, artefacts, words… it's one way that we can all grasp a fragment of immortality: by remembering - and learning from the richness of our shared, collective stories.

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Llantrithyd Place

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Comments

[Margaret Lambert]

I have been possessed with that compulsion to research as well, and especially when I have been grieving. It's not just a distraction, though it works well for shifting focus when necessary, it also connects us in satisfying ways. I have enjoyed sharing stories of their fascinating ancestors with my husband and children.Thank you for expressing it so well, and congratulations on all your latest discoveries. Well done!

[Lorrie]

I go through spurts of interest in looking up family history. I have a sense that much will be lost if I don't write it down now. My grandparents were immigrants (Mennonites from the Ukraine) and it's very difficult to find information very far back.

I appreciate your thoughts on connection - how the past and present tie together and lead on into the future.

[Her outdoors]

Many wise words - particularly the last. We never listen to our relatives when we're younger, do we, when they're talking about family stories, and then they're gone and we've forgotten half of what they said.

[Ardi]

Many years ago, Roz, I did a lot of searching for our roots. That was back in teh days before the internet and all the sites with so much information at the ready. Working on family history is a lot like a jigsaw puzzle - you get little bits framed around the edge, maybe get a cluster of people from one "branch" of the tree, then move to another and find more and eventually, if you're lucky, you are able to tie them together. My sister went on to continue the search - by this time she had the internet and was able to go far and away beyond where I'd gotten. It IS fascinating.

[Cindy Ellison]

Hello, I just discovered your blog via a photo on Pinterest. I've been sitting here going through some of your recent post and I must say - I do enjoy it! Of course, living in the U.S., I am enthralled with the British - I always have been - way before Downton Abbey! My great-grandfather was a Densmore - his parents came from England in the 1800's. My grandma collected antiques and decorated in the English style. So I say its in my blood. Anyway, I look forward to seeing more post from you! Thank You!

[Gracie]

That's why I began blogging more than 8 years ago, with my father struggling with Alzheimer I feared I might loose all my memories one day and my blog became a sort of colorful diary...